but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ttyl tear gas
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
