we're blogging at a bar
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
