My nipple is on Facebook.
That's intense
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
