He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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