you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
