my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
