I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dicks are not precious.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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