Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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