He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
