I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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