I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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