I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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