All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
