Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
