I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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