I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
