I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
