if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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