school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize