New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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