I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
