happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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