in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize