Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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