Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize