Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
