you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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