just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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