Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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