Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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