It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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