After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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