Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
