I think i peed on brittanys purse
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
