Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
