Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize