Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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