I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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