I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
