Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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