K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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