I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
