the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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