Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
