Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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