im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
