Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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