Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize