Your dad touched me again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
