If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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