How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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