You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize