If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
