It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
