Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize