it was like eating out sand paper
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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