Sry I called you an 8
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
