in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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