i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The feeling are messing with the penis
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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