Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
