My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
