It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
