My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
