Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
