; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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