Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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