I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
