Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
