i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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