When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
